Have you ever noticed that the minute you start shopping around for a new car, you see that car EVERYWHERE?!
Right now, look around the room you are in and see all the things that are blue.
Now, tell me... while you were looking for blue, how many yellow things did you see?
When you focus your attention on something, that is all you can see.
For 34yrs of my life, I was looking for proof of the stories I was carrying around that told me that 'you don't matter' and that 'you don't belong'.
And so, for 34yrs, my relationships, communities and working environments continued to tell me that I don't matter and I don't belong.
But here's the thing... that story, no matter how much 'proof' you have of it's validity does not get to determine the direction of your life, UNLESS YOU LET IT.
3.5yrs ago, after the most intense period of 'proof' that I had ever experienced (trying to rebuild my marriage that was in tatters, professional implosion, personal implosion) I looked at the rock bottom that my self esteem was precariously balanced upon and said "F THAT!"
Nobody else was going to tell ME what kind of value I had.
Nobody else was going to determine MY worth.
I didn't 'belong' at these tables and I didn't 'matter' in these circles so I got the F up and I created spaces in which I did!
It's as simple as that, friend!
Was it easy to pick myself up and continue on after such dramatic rift in the projected course of my life.
In fact, 3.5yrs later, I still fight against the nagging 'proof' that pops up almost daily - listen... 34yrs of conditioning does not right itself in a fraction of the time it took to take hold.
But... the woman I am becoming because of my willingness (stubborness) to do the freaking work of restoring my self-esteem/worth/value/respect/belief is BLOWING MY MIND! And the people who are now in my life because of that (hi, friend!) are the people who see more in me than I can sometimes see in myself.
So.... where are you sitting at tables from which your value is questioned?
Where are you allowing your worth to be diminished.
Get the F up and lay yourself a different table!!!
Yours in hope, health and happiness,